Friday Haiku
Grey Goose and Red Bull,Fuels tiny Chiquita hott,And Teddy the ‘Tard.If she drinks all thatHer blood alc. will be point-eight.Kill the pain, wee Bleeth.– Mr. WhiteRed Bull gives you wingsGrey Goose gives you douchitudeBleeth gives you the clap– Fathe…
“His Sister Shaves It” by Jess
PIC DELETEDReader Jess writes in with a rant about her douchey ex-boyfriend. I’ve rearranged the email structurally (but left it unedited) to create a form of outsider art poetry:————–”His Sister Shaves It”by JessI think these photos speak for…
Ken and Barbie: The Scrote Years
PIC DELETEDI know Mattel’s trying to stay in the game, what with the Bratz dolls and all, but I still don’t see this update catching on.Buy the Hot Chicks with Douchebags book on Amazon! (Just released)
Stage-1 ‘Bagling? Or Stage-2?
Kevin the Party Pud is pretty low down on the douchal scale.Sure he’s jumped into a gaggle of Woo Hotties who are doing their best to ignore him. But seriously. Does Kevin really rankle?Sure he’s got a silly camo hat. And a hang gesture. And he drin…
Philip’s Got MAD Game
It’s like Philip told his “Bro Posse” in the background. When you got the mad game, you just can’t help being the “gangsta” at the State Fair Picnic in upstate New York, near Ossining.Sure, the ladies may be classic “Paid to Pose” promo girls, getting…
Kitty Irish
Grape Nut Flakes
HCwDB of the Week: The Krackenbag and Candice
After an early surge by the Swiffer, the slow-and-steady Krackenbag pulled it out. A solid win for the deep-sea creature of Greek douche-legend. The voters speak:The Douche of Earl: The Krackenbag. Simple as that. His orange ora and the vibe of I am …
Reader Mail: Franco ‘Baggin’
—-Dear DB1,I discovered your website a couple days ago and I can’t figure out how I managed to survive for over 30 years without it. I was just checking a photo album from a party a “friend” of mine (she’s actually a douche-lover and coincidentally p…
Sleeve McQueen
There’s no shortage of mockable pattern-clashing loudness on Sleeve as he macks on Kimmy.But it’s the Sleeve Tatt that is particularly noteworthy. And by noteworthy I mean poo. The only thing worse than garish tatts are fake garish tatts. Whomever i…
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